Marital discord

It takes a great deal of honesty and maturity to admit that sometimes you say things to start a fight because you want some attention. Still, I suppose "Star Wars is daft" was quite sad and ill-advised.

Man of Steel (2013): Fangirling

When I watch a film based on a book/comic/real life, I believe that there should be some leeway in terms of faithfulness. While it's true that a film would have been enriched if [character/scene/chapter] had been included, it wouldn't make a difference to me if I know nothing of the source material. Of course, I sympathize with the purists, but please, it's just a film. A film that almost all people who like men will enjoy staring at watching.

The best thing about Man of Steel is, in my wholly biased opinion, Henry of Cavill. Cavill is broad of shoulder, cleft of chin, and wavy of hair. He is also tight of butt and shapely of calves. May I also mention that he is quite handsome and has a smile that can light up a room and make your toes curl?

Why yes, I do like apple pie. Your apple pie. (Pic via Fiz Z Entertainment; the hi-res version is almost life-size [just kidding])

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Enfant Terrible and I watched a late-night screening of the movie I have been waiting for since last year. Gush about The Hobbit all you like, but I think even the most fervent Peter Jackson fan would be hard-pressed to justify splitting it into 3 long-ass movies in which the (current) object of my affection barely appears, if at all.

Don't mope, honey, "no colour" is your colour. (via SuperWhoLock)

Differs from expectations

It was Enfant Terrible's idea to watch Prometheus*.

"Why do you want to watch Prometheus?" I asked.
"Because it's a space movie."

Upon reflection, watching Prometheus because "it's a space movie" is like watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show because you want a little song and dance.

*Verdict: Had its moments, but left the audience largely unfulfilled, even despite the presence of Heimdall, Aeon Flux, the original Lisbeth Salander, a Tom Hardy lookalike, and the requisite number of light humor/cannon fodder peripheral characters.

Perception

Sometimes, I wonder if we've fallen into a relationship rut and whether Enfant Terrible sees me as just someone who's there.

Then we watch Thor and he tries to block my view of Chris Hemsworth strutting around and practically bursting out of those black Levi's and I know it's all good.

Oh, honey, put that away; you're gonna have someone's eye out. (Image from fanpop)

Anticipation

GOOD GOD, YOU PEOPLE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "SOON"?

Yes, Loki, I know everyone's hating on you, but that's what haters do.

Is it too much to ask to see Tom Hiddleston rock that pimp stick like a motherfuckin' pimp next weekend?

Sexy Sunday

I love alliteration. Anyway:  

Liu Ye in drag (Cillian Murphy, eat your heart out!) for his photobook titled Catching shadows twentysix (2005)

Typical day at work

"There was no hospital morality."

Thank you for confirming that.

Also, I don't know about you, but the thought of Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker, Thor) being cast as a grownup Hansel (Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters; no, SERIOUSLY) is about as difficult to comprehend as the decision to cast badass as hell Steve McQueen as a 17-year-old tearaway named... Steve in The Blob (1958).

Image from Forbes

Not quite the same

I found this trailer in the course of a search for images of Eric Bana. Naturally, comparisons with Hit Girl will be inevitable, but it's quite clear (to me anyway), that Hanna Heller and Mindy McReady operate on vastly different levels, alliterative names notwithstanding: 



P.S. It (Saoirse) is pronounced "seersha". We all know the Irish can't spell for nuts; look at the "Cillian" in Cillian Murphy. It took me a good 6 months to discover that "C" is pronounced as "K" if it's the first letter in a word.

Looking out for one another

Bro2 and I are watching the first (and very unsettling) episode of The Walking Dead. The following heartfelt conversation* ensues between scenes of (censored) gun violence**:

Bro2: If I ever turn into a zombie...
Me: Yes?
Bro2: Run away.
Me: What, why?
Bro2: So I won't eat your brains.
Me: Aw, that's sweet, but you know I'll shoot you in the head.
Bro2: Why?
Me: Cos that's how you make zombies dead, innit?
Bro2: I don't want to die lar--
Me: But you'd have to be dead to be a zombie. I'll use the meat cleaver if that makes you feel better.
Bro2: asdfghjkl; just run away and don't kill me dammit.
Me: I'll just walk away quickly, if you don't mind.
Bro2: This is why we don't talk.

* Usually we just hurl verbal abuse
** If you don't see the gunshot, did the zombie really take a bullet to the brain? I think not.

Weekend Dilemma

Q: Do I watch Ip Man 2 or Iron Man 2?

A: Yes.

Donnie Yen is no Tony Leung and knows it. To his credit, he doesn't merely sleepwalk through the bits where he has to emote, instead providing a competent performance as Ip Man the family man, Ip Man the faithful friend and Ip Man the Champion of the Chinese. The latter, of course, is the most convincing, but I shouldn’t be postulating because I don't know what Ip Man the (actual) man was like.

I shouldn't pretend to be a film analyst either, but Sammo Hung has come a long way from the days of performing kung fu slapstick with Jackie Chan. He, like Simon Yam, is probably one of the most underrated actors of their generation. Sidelined from leading roles due to their lack of matinee idol looks, they spent their time in the shadows cultivating subtle nuances that make their characters memorable despite the relative lack of screen time.

Of course, Hung is always memorable thanks to his prodigious girth (oh yes, I said it).

True to the 1950's style characterization, the villainous Brits are stereotypical caricatures. Enfant Terrible and I couldn't get over how carefully "English" their enunciation was. In fact, they took such pains to sound English; we were convinced they weren't English at all.

Darren Shahlavi (of Iranian-British descent), touted by director Wilson Yip as "a martial artist who has been a fan of Donnie Yen", was interesting – his character brims, no, seethes with barely repressed homosexuality and seems completely incapable of using his indoor voice. I understand he's called "The Twister" as in "a tornado", but he really should've been named "The Tantrum".

However, I commend him for his ability to sneer and snarl without getting any face cramps, and the ability to make his veins pop without any apparent strain.

(This man manages to look both baffled and angry in most of his scenes)

The action scenes were what the crowd came for, and they were certainly worth the ticket price. It may sound like contradictory when I say the first Ip Man movie was better, but that's only because it was so awesome. This sequel, which was pretty awesome in its own right, thus pales in comparison beside it.

Trivia pulled from Wikipedia says Hung underwent cardiac surgery prior to principal filming. He apparently plans to "challenge" Yen in subsequent films because their duels in IM2 were restrained by the script. I'd buy tickets to that.

When I told her about the trailer, my mother she say: aiyah, when they're fighting they only film them from the waist up lah! My mother, she was totally right.

In the meantime, I'll be practicing that signature pigeon-toed shuffle. You know the one I mean.

Your Chance To Be A Superstar!

I picked a great day to read The Malay Mail on Tuesday. Fly halfway across the country at my own expense and pay a "processing fee" for a job I may or may not get? Sure!

 (click for bigger version)

Solomon Kane makes me stupid

What a big… sword you have there, Solomon Kane.

Viewers, meet your antidote to the execrable Percy Jackson.

I've been trying to write about Solomon Kane ever since I watched it on Tuesday but this is all I get: LONG LEAN LEGS WAHWAHWAH LONG STRAGGLY HAIR WHY IS HE SO HOT DROOLDROOLDROOOOOOOOOOOL OMG IS HE POUTING. Suits you, James Purefoy.

What I found incongruous though was how quickly he turned from snarly, evil bandit-type scoundrel into a sniveling, cringing "God, why hast thou forsaken me?" sap upon being told his soul is DAMNED.

That was not a spoiler. In fact, it's the entire premise of the movie. You might even be tempted to draw comparisons to Angel in BTVS, but without the sex and ultimate happiness bit. This is because Solomon Kane is a Puritan (this is important).

Anyway, dude has fought, raided and slaughtered his way across the Dark Continent, presumably in her royal majesty's name (?). Did he really expect to get to heaven for his deeds? Oh wait, Solomon Kane is a Puritan. That explains everything. Puritans don't go to heaven, they go to America, and they angst a hell of a lot on the way there too.

This means there's no romance in the movie. I hate romantic movies. Romantic movies suck. I didn't watch Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is a movie for young girls and people who don't actually have romance in their lives and can only get some at the cinema. Or who have major, desperate joneses for Shark/Wolfboy.

I'm not bitter, just unkind. The best romance I ever saw was between the Joker and Batman.

Solomon Kane angsts over everything. He broods when he's not angsting. Maybe he's upset at how much he resembles Hugh Jackman a la Van Helsing. It's possible he carries more emotional baggage than Bruce Wayne. Speaking of Batman, Enfant Terrible is certain Batman would win a fight against Solomon Kane.

They're both superheroes anyway, because they both wear cloaks. Sorry, capes.

Because Solomon Kane* is Puritan, it also means there are a grand total of two topless scenes in the film, both completely contextual. I love alliteration and that was not a spoiler either.

You know what Solomon Kane should jettison though – the dialogue. Dialogue appropriate for speech bubbles doesn't translate very well into actual speech. I liked the setting though. There was loads of mud, ensuring that all misery displayed was authentic.

Here is a brief evolution of the Solomon Kane look:

Classic

Dream, is that you?

Well, hallo thar!

Love the hat. All the cool dudes wear one. Alucard has one.

Fun facts: Doug Jones (recently seen in Hell Boy I and II, Pan's Labyrinth, Quarantine… Richie Rich) does not play any of the monsters in this movie.

* There's just something about the name that requires it to be said in full, like Chuck Norris, e.g. Solomon Kane doesn't angst, he anguishes.