Coffee fast: Day 2

Morning

Up at 6 AM as usual and feeling drowsy. A throbbing headache develops soon after I get up. Is this a sign of caffeine withdrawal?

Let it stand for the record that advocates of warm lemon water ALL fail to mention the chalky feeling it leaves on your teeth, even after you mix the juice of half a lemon with a teaspoon of honey and a cup of warm water.

Mid-morning

Headache becomes teeth-grittingly intense. Fie on your Panadol, you drug-touting artificialists.

Work is fast and furious. I'm grateful for the remote nature of my job, which allows me to swear loud and long each time I come across a writing error. Is this a sign of caffeine withdrawal?

Swear jar, what fucking swear jar?

Afternoon

My period starts.

I have lunch at the mall with Enfant Terrible and his parents. The lights are too bright. There are too many children and they're all running around like free-range animals. It's clear that I'm turning into Anthony Bourdain. All I need to do next is marry a Brazilian jujitsu exponent.

Enfant Terrible orders an iced latte and an iced cappuccino for his parents. They do not fancy the sugarless nature of the coffee drinks. Enfant Terrible looks at me pleadingly.

"Don't waste food," he says.

My period has started; all my data are inapplicable due to the presence of confounding factors, i.e., PMS and hormones and all those other period things.

I will try again some day.