Breakfast

When I was in China with my mum, the hotel "buffet" breakfast usually involved plain rice porridge to which you added condiments and toppings (usually soya sauce, salt, pepper, and a bunch of salted vegetables). It was simple and filling and you had only yourself to blame if you didn't like what was in the bowl.

In the same vein, spicy noodles will give you a quick and simple start to the day:

1. Wheat noodles (1 cake; I prefer wheat noodles over rice noodles because the latter can be too absorbent)
2. Dominos chili flakes (1 packet)
3. Soya sauce to taste (usually 1 teaspoon or so)
4. Vinegar (a bit less than the soya sauce)
5. Garlic oil (1-2 teaspoons/to taste; mind the greasiness!)

Mix items 2-5 together while the noodles are boiling, drain the noodles when they're cooked, dump it in the mix, and toss everything together. Get it down your neck (chopsticks work best) before your Enfant Terrible wanders by and expresses curiosity and you offer him some out of politeness and there's half of your breakfast gone.

"Wow, it tastes so street!"

Baleet

I didn't realise how freeing it'd be to just delete a draft from my dashboard here. It had sat there so long I'd forgotten the context in which it was begun.

Well, that's not true. It was about soap. So trivial!

But I like soap. Or I like the idea that using a soap will see a brand new me emerging like a beautiful butterfly from its chrysalis. I guess washing off a shell of dirt is like breaking out from a cocoon, so there's that.

Anyway, I like soap. But I don't like browsing soap and seeing that one bar costs upwards of RM20 without knowing how much it weighs. For comparison, MooGoo soap costs RM28.30, and you get a 130 g bar, which is about the size of my hand. They even advise cutting it in half so it lasts longer, and it's hard to get a good grip on such a big bar of soap.

Breakfast oatmeal cookie: bleh

I made a breakfast cookie today. It was nice but not something I'd rave about. I suspect that's why the recipe and other similar recipes call for toppings like nut butters and jam and fruit and whatnot: it's to hide the fact that anything made with oatmeal and a scant (stingy, some might say) half tablespoon of honey (I still can't believe it, tbh) will be quite bland. And dry. But it filled the stomach and there are worse things to have for breakfast, so.

(I wound up drizzling honey on top of it because I don't have any nut butters.)

(I mean, one can't have nasi lemak or masala tosei every day, or else one would begin to resemble a masala tosei lemak.)

(Nor can one have toast because we have to throw off the shackles of colonialism starting with the little things.)

Perfect snack

I made chocolate bark the other day. It might not sound like a big deal to you, but it was a revelation for me. What I did was:

1. Melt the remainder of a 70% dark chocolate bar (~100 g) and 100 g semi-sweet chocolate chips in the microwave.*
2. Drop in a pinch of chili powder (serbuk cabe).**
3. Stir everything together.
4. Spread it out on a sheet of baking paper (recipes advise 1/4-inch thickness, but I winged it).
5. Sprinkle brown sugar or what-have-you (usually something crunchy, or sweet or salty, or both) on top.
6. Leave it to harden in the fridge before breaking the thin slab into bite-sized pieces.

*I used the shortest express time on full power, which was 30 seconds for this microwave. YMMV. Also, check after you microwave it the first time, as the chocolate bar actually melted but held its shape.

**Recipes usually call for cayenne pepper, but this is a Malaysian household.

Things I would do differently:

• Make more of the stuff, as Enfant Terrible discovered it and kept sneaking pieces of it.
• Use more chill powder. There was actually no kick.
• Leave out the brown sugar.
• Use pretzels or potato chips, or the perennial favourite: coarse sea salt (but maybe not, as microplastics have been found in the stuff. Que sera sera).
• Use a silicone spatula!

Decluttering snag

I bought into the whole minimalism thing and have been psyching myself up to clear clutter from my house. Although I might not have 20+ years' worth of junk, I'm still loathe to let go of all the clothes I haven't worn in years and will never wear again (because they are ugly or don't fit).

(Keeping the clothes is really stupid because, realistically, I only wear 5-6 pieces a week, and that's if I go out. I cycle between 3 sets of house clothes and pyjamas to boot. I don't need a wardrobe, just a drawer! The perks of not being a socialite, I guess.)

I did manage to assemble the menagerie of glass and plastic jars I've accumulated though, and I fully intend to give them away or recycle them. The only problem is, looking at their cleaned and shiny selves, the vague ideas I had of using them for some craft project or other have come creeping back like a bad habit.

I see why people favour the fast and furious approach to decluttering now.

An internet tip that actually works

Using baby oil (or any other oil) instead of soap or shaving cream to shave. It's great: you don't have to step in the shower, and you just wipe off any excess. Clean your shaver well, of course, but that's about it! You don't even have to buy artisanal bespoke-concocted stuff (Truefitt & Hill's pre-shave oil will cost you RM145 [!]). Awesome stuff for a stingy so-and-so like me.

ETA: It seems like the hair is growing back more slowly.

Easy-ass apple butter

I made an apple butter thing and it's pretty nice, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself. It goes like this:

1. Apples: peeled (if the skin tastes bad*), cored, and quartered.
2. Enough water to just cover them after you've placed them in a pot.
3. Bring the apples to a boil, then reduce the heat to simmer until they're soft enough to mash.**
4. Return to a simmer, add cinnamon, cloves, and/or nutmeg, if using (to taste).
5. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until most, if not all, of the liquid has evaporated.***
6. Add a sweetener**** if needed (to taste).
7. Place in sterilised glass containers and cool before storing in the fridge.

Notes:
*The Red Delicious apples we'd bought were anything but, hence this attempt.
**You can use a food processor for a smoother result, but I just used a fork because I used only 2 apples.
***For me, it took about 45 minutes.
****I used a half teaspoon of honey, although the recipes I found called for brown sugar or maple syrup.

Usage:
Spread on buttered toast.
Drizzled on oatmeal, yogurt, ice cream, what-have-you.
Condiment for savoury items.
Whatever tastes good to you.
Eat it neat by the spoonful (easiest).

The apple butter I made is a light gold-brown, like solid cider, I suppose. The pictures in the recipes are all dark brown, which could either be due to the longer-ass cooking time (up to overnight if you use a slow cooker!), or the use of the abovementioned spices. It tastes like concentrated apples and is unbelievably sweet, but not cloyingly so. Also, it's a dream on buttered toast or with (cream) cheese spread. Alas, I am out of bread (although I have a quick recipe for that...).

Workaround: Part X

I have the free version of a Blogger app. I can draft posts in it but will have to pay like RM20 for the full version in which publishing is enabled. RM20 isn't much (a mains at a mid-range eatery; a starter/appetizer at a high-end eatery) but then I'm Malaysian and therefore funny about money like that.

(AKA penny-wise, pound-foolish.)

Traveling with teens: Part 1

On impulse, Enfant Terrible and I went to Penang during the school holidays with my aunts and their families. We stayed at Aunt Debra's parents' (the Grams) place in Island Glades, which is a quiet old suburb on the island.

Obviously, they don't call Penang a food paradise for nothing. The afternoon we arrived, Enfant Terrible and I made straight for a nondescript Indian restaurant canteen on Lebuh Acheh. It's just a few lots down from the very nice Armenian Street Hotel; it's supposed to be called Muthu's Restaurant but it doesn't have a signboard. In fact, you'd miss it entirely if you weren't looking for it.

ET and I looked inside first before entering. The half-dozen or so patrons, all Indian men of the mien that would make you cross the road to avoid if you encountered them at night, peered right back. Then we stepped in and got ourselves 2 banana leaf rice meals and everyone went back to eating.

By contrast, the staff looked more clean-cut and the food was excellent. They serve parboiled rice by default, it seems, and a marvellous mutton soup in place of the de rigueur rassam, which had run out. You can forget about bone broth once you've had this miraculously meaty-tasting mix, which actually contained no meat (or bones).

Brows sweaty and noses runny from the unbelievably thick and rich crab curry (other options are fish, chicken, dal), we stepped out once more into the unforgiving heat, determined to traipse around the Georgetown Heritage Zone as much as we could before the rest of my family finally made it to Penang.

Like, we'd left at 830 AM, the same time as Aunt Andrea did, only Uncle Andrea is a more cautious driver than ET and probably subsequently racks up fewer speeding summonses. Our indirect host, i.e., Aunt Debra, and her family left Kuala Lumpur about 3 hours later (!).

FYI, it takes 3-4 hours to drive from Kuala Lumpur to Penang Island, excluding the heavy vehicle traffic you encounter as you go through Ipoh. As in, you're merrily humming along at 80-100 kph and exiting a tunnel when you have to lean really hard on the brakes because about 200 m ahead is a lorry laden with god knows what chugging uphill so slowly it's practically at a standstill. And that's what you keep encountering for the next 40 km or so.

Planning your own wedding? Think again!

A friend is getting married later this year. Of course I told him that as it's his wedding, all decisions should lie with him and his fiancée. Alas, it was too late, as his future in laws had already staked their claim on almost two-thirds of the guest list and had expanded it by three times the original length.

And said friend and his parents are the ones footing the bill.

As an amateur wedding advisor, I am lost for words. It's too late to even suggest they pick a differnt venue because that's been decided on already too!

(It will be at a Chinese restaurant and you know how the costs for that will go. And I'm 100% certain the in laws will expect the good stuff, i.e., old old whiskey, etc.)

The shellshocked couple is currently shopping for a wedding dress. I hope they'll rent one instead of buying it outright. I also hope that they engage a makeup artist and photographer(s) (and videographers?) that are worth the rate charged.

I wonder if the relatives will insist on a luxe retro rental car too.

Maybe the fiancée's parents will make it all worthwhile with a big fat dowry.

He's adamant about not taking a loan though, so good on him.

Modern romance, eh?

Kanna Curry House

Biggest portions of veg I've ever seen from them.

I think Kanna Curry House gets unfair flak just because they don't use banana leaves. True, the leaves give the food a distinct aroma. But I imagine sourcing good leaves at a good price might be lower-priority given the number of outlets they have and their daily turnover. The Jalan Gasing and Section 17 outlets are always packed at lunch time, so you could say they've found their niche.

Purists tend to scoff at the crowd, sniffing that the patrons are always Chinese who have more money than sense, but I think THAT depends on the restaurant location. Come to think of it, of the KCH locations that I know of, 3 are in what are considered predominantly Chinese areas (Section 17, Puchong, Kepong).

Also, NO ONE returns to an eatery (or brings friends/clients) if they think the food and service is shit. So maybe KCH isn't authentic enough for some, but it's good enough for others. And yes, there are better places, but there's room for all punters when banana leaf rice costs RM5.50-8.00++ nowadays (those unlimited refills tho...)

I might be biased though, as Enfant Terrible and I are regulars, so the staff are friendly with us and we tend to get served faster.

Recommended: Fried ikan merah/kerisi, fried squid (sometimes).
Notes: They have crab curry on Fridays.

Eating in Kota Kinabalu

Sun setting on Kota Kinabalu

These are the (fantastic and mediocre places) Enfant Terrible and I ate at when we were in KK in August. All places are on Gaya Street unless specified otherwise. All meals were paid in cash.

People at airports

(I should be hustling but this is way more fun.)

Though I should know better than that, a comment I read on facebook pissed me off. The original post involved photos of Syed Azmi, Malaysia’s best known do-gooder (I mean that as a compliment), making the rounds at an airport in the wee hours of the night (morning?) and leaving snacks and drinks beside everyone who was asleep there.

The commenter asked why he would do that when surely there were poor people in the city who were more deserving of his charity than the “rich people” at the airport.

Ais krim potong Sin Wah: A review

Air krim potong is currently my favorite dessert. I'd only had a casual interest in it until I went to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, this year. Then, I fell head over heels for the stuff.

(It used to be I couldn't get enough of mochi donuts from Mr. Donuts, but that's how things change.)

Literally translated, ais krim potong is sliced ice cream, but of course there's more to it than that. First, it's made with coconut milk instead of milk and cream; second, you don't need an ice cream maker. Also, ais krim potong bars (?) are traditionally skewered, though in the interests of public safety, the skewers of yore have been replaced with non-pointy rods.

For my sake, here is a recipe for red bean ais krim potong (my favorite flavor is cempedak though).

Anyway, no kiosk on Gaya Street, KK, was spared a look-in. More often than not, I'd come away with an ais krim potong (RM2.10-2.60, depending on where you went), and it was WORTH IT.

I'm trying to be consistent back in Kuala Lumpur, but you're likelier to find Paddle Pops than ais krim potong here.

Nevertheless, 99 Speedmart sells single ais krim potong as opposed to the boxes of 6 or 10 you find at Tesco.

Sadly, the brand they carry (Sin Wah, durian flavor, 95 sen) isn't worth the effort. It had a watery texture, more like a frozen slushy (or ais kacang?) than ice cream, and tasted sad and thin and not the slightest bit creamy.

Have I told you that my goal now when traveling to a new place is to eat all the sweets?

Trying to compute

I've been holiday-sick since I got back from Kota Kinabalu. It's like being homesick, but you yearn for the holiday place instead of home. Of course, I got a little homesick when I was in Europe, so you can't really win that game.

I've also been thinking of getting another laptop. The idea came about when ET and I were discussing quite seriously the idea of being traveling freelancers. From what I've read, it seems to be mainly a white people thing at the moment.

(When I was in school, I imagined I would be a vagabond, living in a van and washing up at petrol stations and cooking over a camp stove. All my belongings would fit into a rucksack. I have a rucksack. I have a camp stove. I have a... sedan. The idea still intrigues me.)

All I really need to work is a computer, electricity, and an internet connection (doesn't almost everyone?), and it's possible for ET to conduct music lessons over Skype, though that isn't really a thing in Malaysia yet. Maybe we can make it a thing elsewhere.

The thing is, the working holiday I took in KK made me realize that my current laptop is uncomfortably heavy (almost 2 kg, maybe more because it's got so many files stored on it, har har) and too big to just shove into any old laptop sleeve. It also has a shit battery, so it's on DC power all the time.

I don't actually need another laptop, or so I thought, but my current one switched off on its own a few days ago. I lost an entire manuscript! And yet, right now, I wonder if it had overheated and whether an overhaul might refresh things somewhat. There's nothing particularly wrong with it, it's just old. (One day someone will say that of me too, I think.)

A new laptop would be nice though. It would be smaller, lighter, and more portable. It would run faster, until it doesn't. And then I'll get another one. And so on. We'll see.

How to do nothing in Kota Kinabalu: A 6-day account

Day 1
- Arrive from KL; register at TMBT counter; check-in to downtown hotel; chill until it's time for early dinner (Mad Ben: mussels in white wine with spaghetti [fab], lamb burrito + fries [best ever], thin-crust lamb pizza [excellent though small]); sleep.

Waiting to cross the bridge to the start point. Only 10 people per crossing!

BioZ vs. Mosi-Guard mosquito repellent

If you spend any amount of time (like 30 minutes or so) in the Malaysian outdoors, and I'm not talking about sprinting across the carpark through the pouring rain and inside the mall, you will usually need insect repellent.

Specifically, "outdoors" refers to any setting where there are trees, grass, shrubs, whatnot, i.e., flora, which is accompanied by the according fauna, i.e., flies, gnats, ants, MOSQUITOES. I have a (sensible) horror of getting bitten by mosquitoes because I could contract dengue. And I would probably need hospitalization. And I would shrink from the illness. As I weigh 50 kg (half of which is probably teeth and hair) and stand at 5 feet 4-ish inches in my bare feet, that would be a bad development.

Staying indoors isn't even a surefire way to avoid getting bitten.

Tip (if you didn't already know it): Mosquitoes will attack when you slow down/stop while running/exercising. Therefore, keep moving!

But people get tired, and have to stop anyway. Which is where roll-on mosquito repellent becomes a godsend. Apply it on all exposed skin, even your ears if you need to (I need to, but I don't!), and reapply when you stop. This has 2 benefits: it keeps you moving a bit so that mosquitoes don't land on you, and you refresh your anti-mosquito layer.

I stopped using the spray-on repellent because it stings like a fucker if it gets in your eyes. I also feel that with sprays, most of it gets in the air rather than on your skin, which is stupid.

Compared to its spray-on version, you have more control of where you apply the roll-on Mosi-guard to, but it's so thick and you have to reapply anyway if you sweat a lot (like me), so you don't feel like you're getting your money's worth.

Enfant Terrible says "you get what you pay for", but he also gobbled down the cheap Malay snacks we got a few weeks ago, so forget him. This is my idea of a lead up to saying that we tried the Bio Z mosquito repellent, and we're going to stick with it for the near future.

For one, it passed the taste test (er, heheh), and you'll never get any in your eyes (unless you're extraordinarily stupid) because it's solid. I like that it's in a pushup tube like a deodorant, so you can gauge the remaining amount. I'll probably have to get a new tube next month, which is reasonable, considering how much it costs.

If you must, it probably also emits less carbon emissions as it's from (gasp!) Singapore, whereas MosiGuard is made in the UK.

Briefly:

Safety: Both are DEET-free, therefore kid-safe.
Active ingredient(s): Mosi-guard, Citrodiol/lemon eucalyptus oil; Bio Z, lemongrass oil and citronella oil.
Taste: Mosi-guard tastes bad (Bio Z does not) and you (I) always accidentally smear some on your (my) drinking hose (but I don't with Bio Z).
Price: Mosi-guard, ~RM28; Bio Z, ~RM7.90.

Kuih muih Rambo

Starting with an idle thought, I wound up learning exactly how new traders "break in" to the night markets/Ramadan bazaars.

Theoretically, you're supposed to have a trader's license and stall permit (1 permit per intended trading lot) before you're allowed to start operating.

The reality is, though, permits are apparently scarce, and approved location even more so.

So, what new traders learn to do is scope out the market premises to find unoccupied lots and enquire delicately with the neighboring traders whether that particular trader will be late or absent. If it's the latter, the newbie pitches their stall there and hopes for the best. This is apparently known as "Rambo-ing", where you do the thing you want to do but where you might not be supposed to be at.

It appears that you pay some sort of appearance fee if the market is run by a neighborhood or local organization. However, you risk being fined and having your goods confiscated if caught trading illegally at municipal council-organized markets.

Nevertheless, it can be quite lucrative if you sell the right thing (usually food, especially during Ramadan).

I thought of all this when Enfant Terrible and I came across a dessert stall set up away from the main Ramadan bazaar area this evening. There were 2 folding tables holding trays of traditional Malay kuih. A family of three was running it (mum sliced and scooped, son packed, dad was the cashier), and a line quickly formed behind us.

Our spoils were seri muka and kuih talam gula merah/melaka, which were perfectly lovely even if you didn't fast. The kuih were sticky and sweet but not cloyingly so, and the aroma of pandan wafted down the line. Plus, each piece cost 50 SEN, which makes me want to cry with disbelief and happiness.

From what I could see, they were down to the last 3 trays, and there were 5-6 empty trays stacked at the side. At my question, the dad said they'd started operating only an hour ago!

Though they obviously had no permits or licenses,* theirs wasn't a "true" Rambo operation, as there were no other stalls around. 10/10 for canny business acumen though: they're visible from the main road, and the Ramadan bazaar is not. Duh!

*That has never stopped anyone from buying street food, of course.