Monday, October 24, 2011

Local news

The much-loved (by me and Enfant Terrible, anyway) Sri Paandi outlet in TTDI closed last month. Yesterday, I saw that another restaurant had opened in its place. It serves... South Indian Chettinad food.

It's called D'Beetle Leaf, and I think the owners have used a word that does not mean what they think it means.

Elsewhere down the block, the much-loved (by me) Popeye's has shut its doors too. Clearly it has something to do with the KFC across the road (the Colonel will tolerate none of this Southern foolishness). God forbid they open a Wendy's outlet in its place.

The Forestry Department has set up a monkey trap for a relocation exercise. If you don't know what a monkey trap looks like, take a drive up my road and look for a 20-foot high metal cage painted in camouflage green and filled with bananas.

It's been there for about a week now (still empty too), and I giggle every time I drive past it because it also sports a sign about "preventing simian immunodeficiency virus (SIV)". The subtext is obvioiusly "don't have sex or do drugs with monkeys".

Friday, October 14, 2011

Not fine at all

I don't remember why, but last month, I decided to fine myself RM1 for each swear word I uttered.

Since we're all grown-ups here, I don't have to state the entire verboten list, suffice to say it also contains "shit," "damn," "asshole," and everything that mum would be unhappy to hear ("you're an idiot," "stop being such a bloody idiot").

The total fine imposed for swearing in the month of September in the year 2011 was RM44.

Yes, that's more than 1 word a day.

That's less RM44 from what I have available to spend now, innit? Part of the "deal" is that I can't touch that money until... whenever. Maybe it should go to charity. I don't know yet. Suggestions are most welcome!

Just for the record

I can't get enough of the "women telling other women how to be slutty wives" things. The story about the Obedient Wives' Club's sex guide has been reported elsewhere:

Australia: Brisbane Times
Indonesia: The Jakarta Globe

Nothing like a global audience to help you promote your message.

There are questions about why Jews are mentioned in the title ("Islamic Sex: Fight Jews to Have Islamic Sex Returned to the World @ Seks Islam, perangi Yahudi untuk kembalikan seks Islam kepada dunia").

The reason is obvious enough to me: if enough good Muslim wives have a lot of wholesome Muslim sex in orgies with their pious Muslim husbands, then there will be an explosion of good Muslim babies.

When they come of age, these children will be tasked with the noble mission of freeing the world from the unwholesome grip of those evil Zionist overlords who don't eat pork, pray 3 times a day, and whose men are circumcised, so that all good (married) Muslims can have good Muslim sex (with their spouse) anytime they want.

They will also make more babies to carry on the struggle.

I think that about sums it up.

You know why the book will suck though; it costs RM50 and there are no pictures. Whoever heard of a guide book with no reference images?

Lesser known Chinese wedding customs

When one of my cousins on my mum's side got married, they hung a pair of his older brother's trousers over the front door. He and his bride had to walk under it (obviously) before the tea ceremony. 

I think it has something to do with paying your respects to your elders if they're unmarried, as the elder brother does indeed have a serious sweetheart, but chose to let his kid brother tie the knot first on account of limited finances.

You need the following at a tea ceremony:
1. Bride and groom
2. Both sets of parents
3. Assorted aunts and uncles
4. Bossy wedding planner
5. Tea (doh)
6. Whole roasted suckling pig