Saturday, October 30, 2010

I think I've made it: Part 2

Drafting a vacation response is only for grownups right?

Grownups who have jobs and
make $$$ (yeaaah) and
who make grownup decisions like going on holiday to some foreign country (aren't they all?) and
enjoy grownup beverages like, uh, iced tea and
expect work-related emails from other examples of arrested juvenalia grownups to arrive in their inbox when they're away.

That's what grownups do, no?

I feel like someone's going to call me on a bluff at any moment now, HEHE.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Me so punny

I like watching cooking shows because there's always something to learn. I know I won't be writing for one any time soon, though, because I won't be able to resist slipping in, "Now, it's time for thyme!"

Saturday, October 23, 2010

That's not how it's supposed to go

Ever since mum retired from active government service three (?) years ago, I have gradually taken over her duties as Interior Minister of Domestic Affairs. This was largely due to her appointment to a new portfolio: Executive Committee President of Personal Fitness Management.

Among the changes I have instituted was the purchase of a carbon steel/cast iron wok. I don't know what metal it's made from lah, but any hawker char kuey teow man would be proud to own it.

Culinary department developments appear to have culminated thus:

Mum: Today's veg is so tasty!
Me: I know right?
Mum: What did you do?
Me: The usual, pour my heart and soul into it.
Mum: Nah, that's not it.
Me: Fine, I used BIG fire. And different cooking oil.
Mum: Yeah, that's what I thought.

I may be due for a bonus soon (let's buy a deep fryer!).

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Don't hate the player

Part of my routine includes collecting Dad's ironed laundry from the dobi. The dobi proprietress, Jane, is a chatty sort who seems to get a kick out of the fact I'm one of the few females who visits the place.

She addresses me as "hot stuff" and "hottie" whenever she sees me, which makes the other (male) customers take a second look, given that I tend to roll up in the daggiest of house-wear (tatty shirt, saggy walking shorts, hair in a careless ponytail).

She was working at the counter when I showed up a few days ago. The conversation went thus:

Jane: Wah, hot chick, how are you ah?
Me: Good, and you?
Jane: Same-same lah... your boyfriend how ah?
Me: Same-same la, hehe. How was your holiday?
Jane: Good-oh! Eh... you still freedom ah?

I was about to tell her that while I'm happy with Enfant Terrible, I also like not being married before I realised what she actually meant.

Me: Oh, you mean freelance issit?
Jane: Ya la!
Me: *pedantically* But you said "freedom" leh.
Jane: Aiyah, freelance... freedom, same la! You can go out anytime you want!
Me: Oh, ya huh!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Do 3 sets of 10; rinse, repeat

So, it's still pretty early this morning when I get my running shoes on and am about to traipse out the house when my mum wanders out of her bedroom.

"Where are you going?" she says.

"Gonna have a jalk," I reply.*

There is a moment's silence as she, who attends yoga, aerobics, resistance band training and something called "BodyPump" on a regular basis, mulls this over and eventually says, "Whoa... why?"

Because I've lost 3 kilos so far and would like to keep them off, THAT'S WHY. 

* jog-walk. I'd say "wog" but I'm not Carol Thatcher (wog -> gollywog -> Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, apparently)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I think I've made it

A sure sign I've become famous is when complete strangers send me emails that don't ask for my help in moving millions of dollars from an African bank account:
Have a beautiful Day ! 
Dear Angela [pseudonymous surname],  
in the small Polish town of Olesnica, there is a particular library. Please allow me to introduce you to: 
The Foreign Language Social Library, a part of the GLOWINSKIS' LIBRARY 
The Foreign Language Social Library (a part of the Glowinskis' Library) is a very special one in part because all of the library's books, as well as its huge gallery of illustrations (digitals and pictures), have been donated by not only the illustrators and writers themselves, but also by librarians, publishers and people with large hearts from around the whole world. 
I would be honored and delighted if you would consider donating anything of your work to our library. Your own book (with autograph or dedication), illustrations, and the like, would be most appreciated by our readership and by me personally.
The Glowinskis' Library lends books at no charge, and I work in the library as an unpaid volunteer. We depend entirely on people like you - large hearted people who love the printed word, books and illustrations - to make what we do possible. 
Please visit our website below to see who else has generously agreed to donate a small item of work to represent them at our library: 
Thank you for your time and consideration. 
With best regards from Poland, 
Tadeusz Glowinski Librarian
The best part is, this guy is TOTALLY FOR REAL. I totally looked him up. He's 63 years old. He's been carrying out this one-man crusade for years. PEOPLE REALLY DO SEND HIM THEIR OWN BOOKS.

You see the problem here, of course. If I adhere to his stipulations, then the only thing I can send him is my dissertation. That might actually be a good idea...

In the mean time, I shall settle for spreading Teddy's email around. I'm sure we can work something out. It's also an incentive to take NaNoWriMo seriously, no?