Thursday, May 20, 2010

Things That Make You Go "Hmmm…"

Have you ever noticed that the people who drink the protein shakes are the ones who are never around when heavy lifting needs to be done? Imagine lil' ol' me lugging a pail of rain water to the kitchen so we can do our bit for the future while Bro2 looks on idly from his seat at the PC.

This college dodge ball hero makes his protein drinks every day without fail and with clockwork precision at precisely the right time. And he watches like a lord as everyone else carries out the chores. He might be thinking, "A successful alarm dodges near the dash." That's a stupid phrase, by the way, and I don't know where I picked that up.

You see things like this everywhere, the most glaring example being the big hero swaggering through the mall with 5 or 6 wee children all under the age of 10 (wtf???) trailing merrily behind him and trying to pull their mother in 4 different directions. Said mother has a resigned look on her face that shows she totally didn't sign up for this shit.

Okay, maybe it's been a bad day for me but it could be worse. I could be Ronnie James Dio hahaha.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Culinary Conversations

Dad comes home after an exhausting evening of boozing. He heads to the kitchen to see what I've cooked for dinner.

Dad: Wah, so much pork!
Me: Uh-huh.
Dad: *lifts the kuali lid* Oh, no green veggie.
Me: That's (light green) cabbage!
Dad: But it's not green.
Me: What colour is it then?
Dad: Cabbage is white.

I also now know Laura Calder is a fraud who spends all her time leaning towards the camera because it's the only way she can keep an audience's attention. She was roasting a chicken and said she loves breast meat because it's the best bit off a bird.

Everyone knows deep-fried/roasted crispy chicken skin is the only thing that matters.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Weirdness of the Day/Week

So there I was, happily trotting along in my lovely new running shoes past some houses when a geezer strolls out from a side road up ahead.

I shoot a glance at him and recognize him; everybody needs a morning stroll every now and then. You may get slower with age, but it doesn't mean you have to stop completely.

He sees me, and I nod and smile in acknowledgment. Just as I pass him, he says, "You remind me of my daughter."

Moral: people can get lonely, more so old people. It's okay to have a chat as long as they don't offer to bring you somewhere "nearby" for tea (context).

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Weekend Dilemma

Q: Do I watch Ip Man 2 or Iron Man 2?
A: Yes.

Donnie Yen is no Tony Leung and knows it. To his credit, he doesn't merely sleepwalk through the bits where he has to emote, instead providing a competent performance as Ip Man the family man, Ip Man the faithful friend and Ip Man the Champion of the Chinese. The latter, of course, is the most convincing, but I shouldn’t be postulating because I don't know what Ip Man the (actual) man was like.


I shouldn't pretend to be a film analyst either, but Sammo Hung has come a long way from the days of performing kung fu slapstick with Jackie Chan. He, like Simon Yam, is probably one of the most underrated actors of their generation. Sidelined from leading roles due to their lack of matinee idol looks, they spent their time in the shadows cultivating subtle nuances that make their characters memorable despite the relative lack of screen time.

Of course, Hung is always memorable thanks to his prodigious girth (oh yes, I said it).

True to the 1950's style characterization, the villainous Brits are stereotypical caricatures. Enfant Terrible and I couldn't get over how carefully "English" their enunciation was. In fact, they took such pains to sound English; we were convinced they weren't English at all.

Darren Shahlavi (of Iranian-British descent), touted by director Wilson Yip as "a martial artist who has been a fan of Donnie Yen", was interesting – his character brims, no, seethes with barely repressed homosexuality and seems completely incapable of using his indoor voice. I understand he's called "The Twister" as in "a tornado", but he really should've been named "The Tantrum".

However, I commend him for his ability to sneer and snarl without getting any face cramps, and the ability to make his veins pop without any apparent strain.

(This man manages to look both baffled and angry in most of his scenes)

The action scenes were what the crowd came for, and they were certainly worth the ticket price. It may sound like contradictory when I say the first Ip Man movie was better, but that's only because it was so awesome. This sequel, which was pretty awesome in its own right, thus pales in comparison beside it.

Trivia pulled from Wikipedia says Hung underwent cardiac surgery prior to principal filming. He apparently plans to "challenge" Yen in subsequent films because their duels in IM2 were restrained by the script. I'd buy tickets to that.

When I told her about the trailer, my mother she say: aiyah, when they're fighting they only film them from the waist up lah! My mother, she was totally right.

In the meantime, I'll be practicing that signature pigeon-toed shuffle. You know the one I mean.