Sunday, December 19, 2010

Signs of Aging

You remember when letters used to be written on actual paper with actual ink and smeared with an actual hand if you're left-handed like me. You also remember when you signed off on such letters in the bottom right corner if it was an informal letter, and the bottom left for a formal missive.

Or was that the other way around?

You remember that there were different formats for letters used for different purposes, but can't remember the formats themselves to save your (shorter) life.

(actually, surat rasmi + tidak rasmi should about cover it, no??)

You start to wonder when baby carriages became baby buggies and began looking less like baby transporters and more like aerodynamic space voyaging pods. Seriously, some look totally equipped to tackle a 4WD jungle course!

You also find it baffling that most of these contraptions have the baby facing outwards. I would imagine that a (new) baby sees the world as an alarming jumble of sights and sounds that are probably quite unpleasant when taken in large doses. This probably accounts for the number of screaming children you see in the mall.

Also, you'd think that a parent would prefer to look at a product that took 9 months to complete and god knows how long to create, rather than turn it around to face said alarming world during mall excursions.  

Everyone knows that the best parents are the people who don't have children.

You begin to wonder when the heart throbs started getting younger by the day (yes, I know it's not their fault). I'm talking about you, Skandar Keynes.

Christmas becomes less about presents, and more about sneering at the crass mass consumerism of the season.
Any holiday occasion is just another opportunity for capitalist business pigs to wheedle away as much of your hard earned money as they possibly can before you shake off the hypnotic stupor that comes with shopping. Grr. Argh.

Your days begin and end earlier, and fuzzy slippers begin to sound like the ideal footwear. The idea of buying new kitchen implements is dizzyingly exciting.

You come up with a list like this. Doh. 

Er... I forgot what I was talking about.

Monday, December 13, 2010

On misplaced affection

Normally I scoff at silly females who name their appliances. Why the hell would anyone call a laptop Bernie, or coo over a huge kitchen mixer whom they've named Alfred?


Well, you know what happens when you scoff at something - you wind up doing the same damn thing you mocked. Currently, I'm so enamoured of the wicked little red peeler I got from Daiso on Sunday that I think of it as my "little 5-inch wonder".

My new best friend.

The sound of mocking laughter echoes bitterly in my head.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Urban wildlife: two sides of a coin

Living in one of the greener corners of Kuala Lumpur, we enjoy the benefit of free exhaust fumes every weekend as thousands of visitors descend on the park across the road. There is an up side and down side to living so close to the "wild":

The up side:

- The wonder of nature is close at hand as small woodland creatures like wild shrews, wee squirrels and your neighbour's semi-feral cats* frolic and play in your garden.

- In-depth observation of the ant's industrious ways is always possible.

- Birds attracted by the flowering plants in your garden let loose with a joyous burst of melodious song every morning, getting the day off to a great start.

- Nothing is more relaxing than seeing a butterfly flutter around said flowering plants.

The down side:

- Ants will want to share your sweets.

- The shrews will eventually be overcome by a burning desire to investigate your house. They will get as far as the living room before deciding they need to poop.

- The cats will be attracted by the shrews and pad in quietly after them. After failing to catch them, they will stroll in to the kitchen and scare the everloving life out of you by begging for some of the chicken you're slicing for dinner.**

* They go home to where the food is, but poop under your car.
** At least they're polite enough to sit quietly beside you and wait for you to notice them