John Cheever

Here is an article about John Cheever the writer: Vodka for Breakfast: On the Melancholy of Cheever's Journals.

I found Cheever's Bullet Park in a now-closed secondhand bookshop (isn't that the fate of all secondhand bookshops now though?) about 20 years (!) ago. In the blurb on the back was a line about sex and secrets in suburbia that led to me buying it, little knowing that I'd be taken on a ride more mental than I'd ever imagine.

Anyway, I thought I had a book by a writer who had that one book in him, but I was clearly wrong. Journals and autobiographical writings are actually my thing. I like reading about the minutiae of another person's life. It's probably part of being a voyeur. One of the things on my wishlist is a telescope, and I'm not into astronomy.

Breakfast

When I was in China with my mum, the hotel "buffet" breakfast usually involved plain rice porridge to which you added condiments and toppings (usually soya sauce, salt, pepper, and a bunch of salted vegetables). It was simple and filling and you had only yourself to blame if you didn't like what was in the bowl.

In the same vein, spicy noodles will give you a quick and simple start to the day:

1. Wheat noodles (1 cake; I prefer wheat noodles over rice noodles because the latter can be too absorbent)
2. Dominos chili flakes (1 packet)
3. Soya sauce to taste (usually 1 teaspoon or so)
4. Vinegar (a bit less than the soya sauce)
5. Garlic oil (1-2 teaspoons/to taste; mind the greasiness!)

Mix items 2-5 together while the noodles are boiling, drain the noodles when they're cooked, dump it in the mix, and toss everything together. Get it down your neck (chopsticks work best) before your Enfant Terrible wanders by and expresses curiosity and you offer him some out of politeness and there's half of your breakfast gone.

"Wow, it tastes so street!"

Baleet

I didn't realise how freeing it'd be to just delete a draft from my dashboard here. It had sat there so long I'd forgotten the context in which it was begun.

Well, that's not true. It was about soap. So trivial!

But I like soap. Or I like the idea that using a soap will see a brand new me emerging like a beautiful butterfly from its chrysalis. I guess washing off a shell of dirt is like breaking out from a cocoon, so there's that.

Anyway, I like soap. But I don't like browsing soap and seeing that one bar costs upwards of RM20 without knowing how much it weighs. For comparison, MooGoo soap costs RM28.30, and you get a 130 g bar, which is about the size of my hand. They even advise cutting it in half so it lasts longer, and it's hard to get a good grip on such a big bar of soap.

Dreaming

I don't think I've ever written about when I was in my last year of secondary school, i.e., Form 5, and had no idea what I'd do afterwards.

Everyone seemed to have a plan or knew what they'd study after Form 6. Most of it seemed to involve studying accounting in Australia and/or working there. In fact, virtually everyone (that I knew) with a plan involving Australia has settled there.

As for me. I was particularly taken with a manga I was reading at the time (Harlem Beat). One of the supporting female characters was a ne'er do well type, as far as you can be a ne'er do well in your last year of high school. She told those who asked that she would be a vagabond after she finished school. (Japanese university entrance exams being what they are, maybe that isn't too farfetched an idea...)

I thought that was a fine idea, and imagined myself living out of a van, travelling where the road would take me each day. I'd wash up at highway rest stops and cook over a camp stove. To make money, I would write! And no one would tell me what to do!

It was the perfect plan... only I sucked at driving in manual, and didn't have a van, a laptop, a camp stove, or a clue where I'd go.

For more irony, I haven't renewed my driving license.

Breakfast oatmeal cookie: bleh

I made a breakfast cookie today. It was nice but not something I'd rave about. I suspect that's why the recipe and other similar recipes call for toppings like nut butters and jam and fruit and whatnot: it's to hide the fact that anything made with oatmeal and a scant (stingy, some might say) half tablespoon of honey (I still can't believe it, tbh) will be quite bland. And dry. But it filled the stomach and there are worse things to have for breakfast, so.

(I wound up drizzling honey on top of it because I don't have any nut butters.)

(I mean, one can't have nasi lemak or masala tosei every day, or else one would begin to resemble a masala tosei lemak.)

(Nor can one have toast because we have to throw off the shackles of colonialism starting with the little things.)

Perfect snack

I made chocolate bark the other day. It might not sound like a big deal to you, but it was a revelation for me. What I did was:

1. Melt the remainder of a 70% dark chocolate bar (~100 g) and 100 g semi-sweet chocolate chips in the microwave.*
2. Drop in a pinch of chili powder (serbuk cabe).**
3. Stir everything together.
4. Spread it out on a sheet of baking paper (recipes advise 1/4-inch thickness, but I winged it).
5. Sprinkle brown sugar or what-have-you (usually something crunchy, or sweet or salty, or both) on top.
6. Leave it to harden in the fridge before breaking the thin slab into bite-sized pieces.

*I used the shortest express time on full power, which was 30 seconds for this microwave. YMMV. Also, check after you microwave it the first time, as the chocolate bar actually melted but held its shape.

**Recipes usually call for cayenne pepper, but this is a Malaysian household.

Things I would do differently:

• Make more of the stuff, as Enfant Terrible discovered it and kept sneaking pieces of it.
• Use more chill powder. There was actually no kick.
• Leave out the brown sugar.
• Use pretzels or potato chips, or the perennial favourite: coarse sea salt (but maybe not, as microplastics have been found in the stuff. Que sera sera).
• Use a silicone spatula!

Split second

That's all it takes for a boy on a scooter to go from zooming down a slope, a banana in one hand, to sprawling, dazed, on the asphalt with elbows and knees scraped after losing his balance.

Also the time taken for you to have a bite of banana muffin and for your kid to spill her strawberry yogurt drink on herself (gasp of surprise/horror included).

Sweet

I dreamt that I was Idris Elba. The complete and utter self-assurance of just being in "my" own skin was amazing. I want to be like that in real life but the feeling is fading too quickly.

Decluttering snag

I bought into the whole minimalism thing and have been psyching myself up to clear clutter from my house. Although I might not have 20+ years' worth of junk, I'm still loathe to let go of all the clothes I haven't worn in years and will never wear again (because they are ugly or don't fit).

(Keeping the clothes is really stupid because, realistically, I only wear 5-6 pieces a week, and that's if I go out. I cycle between 3 sets of house clothes and pyjamas to boot. I don't need a wardrobe, just a drawer! The perks of not being a socialite, I guess.)

I did manage to assemble the menagerie of glass and plastic jars I've accumulated though, and I fully intend to give them away or recycle them. The only problem is, looking at their cleaned and shiny selves, the vague ideas I had of using them for some craft project or other have come creeping back like a bad habit.

I see why people favour the fast and furious approach to decluttering now.

An internet tip that actually works

Using baby oil (or any other oil) instead of soap or shaving cream to shave. It's great: you don't have to step in the shower, and you just wipe off any excess. Clean your shaver well, of course, but that's about it! You don't even have to buy artisanal bespoke-concocted stuff (Truefitt & Hill's pre-shave oil will cost you RM145 [!]). Awesome stuff for a stingy so-and-so like me.

ETA: It seems like the hair is growing back more slowly.

Easy-ass apple butter

I made an apple butter thing and it's pretty nice, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself. It goes like this:

1. Apples: peeled (if the skin tastes bad*), cored, and quartered.
2. Enough water to just cover them after you've placed them in a pot.
3. Bring the apples to a boil, then reduce the heat to simmer until they're soft enough to mash.**
4. Return to a simmer, add cinnamon, cloves, and/or nutmeg, if using (to taste).
5. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until most, if not all, of the liquid has evaporated.***
6. Add a sweetener**** if needed (to taste).
7. Place in sterilised glass containers and cool before storing in the fridge.

Notes:
*The Red Delicious apples we'd bought were anything but, hence this attempt.
**You can use a food processor for a smoother result, but I just used a fork because I used only 2 apples.
***For me, it took about 45 minutes.
****I used a half teaspoon of honey, although the recipes I found called for brown sugar or maple syrup.

Usage:
Spread on buttered toast.
Drizzled on oatmeal, yogurt, ice cream, what-have-you.
Condiment for savoury items.
Whatever tastes good to you.
Eat it neat by the spoonful (easiest).

The apple butter I made is a light gold-brown, like solid cider, I suppose. The pictures in the recipes are all dark brown, which could either be due to the longer-ass cooking time (up to overnight if you use a slow cooker!), or the use of the abovementioned spices. It tastes like concentrated apples and is unbelievably sweet, but not cloyingly so. Also, it's a dream on buttered toast or with (cream) cheese spread. Alas, I am out of bread (although I have a quick recipe for that...).

Pregnancy unexpected: Perioral dermatitis

Perioral dermatitis is a thing that can happen in pregnancy. It's an itchy red rash around your mouth area and it makes you look like a damn slob. Not everyone gets it, and treatment varies from antibiotics to dermatological medications. In my case, it appeared to have been triggered by spending some time in bright sunshine.

Anyway, I had Betnovate cream, which had been prescribed for dermatitis elsewhere (I actually do take care of myself, ok, but this was one of those mysterious things that can happen to you pre-pregnancy), and I figured it would help. Here's the thing:

DO NOT PUT BETNOVATE ON YOUR PERIORAL DERMATITIS. (It even says so on the contraindications!)

My itchy, red, unsightly rash became an itchy, red, unsightly weepy rash.

I have a master's in medical science and I did that.

Some frenzied Googling later, it looked like calendula and vitamin E would help (nothing could make the rash worse than it already was). Mothercare sells a calendula balm (in stick form); yes, it's meant for babies, and Watson's or Guardian sell a generic vitamin E cream.

And hurrah, they worked. The balm stopped the burning itchiness and dissipated the redness, and the cream prevented scarring. However, I still had to endure about 2 weeks of (bright pink) skin regrowth and flaking. Thankfully, that has all faded, and I now use the balm and cream on my other dermatitis, as the Betnovate doesn't seem to work anymore (and you're not supposed to use it for very long anyway), and this combo does.

PS: I am not a doctor. Your mileage may vary.