Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Creep version: Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)*

Here is an actual review.

It's impossible to be objective about Benedict Cumberbatch. It must be his eyes. 

You have a surprise for me??? (via cumberbab3)
They're varying shades of blue and green in different lighting, so while you're holding your breath as you watch his John Harrison cold bloodedly commit the most heinous crimes, a part of you is also marvelling how a wee thing like nature conspired to create what is possibly the most perfect fella you've ever seen. 

That's the part that makes you practically shake your boyfriend's arm off during his first scene. Oh, his first scene? He manages to look both menacing and winsome, which is the kind of look that makes girls like me clutch our pearls and cross our legs. Yes, mama always said to never trust a man in a trench coat, by god.

Also, those 4000 calories a day were worth it. I just wish he'd bent over that console a little longer because... ogh. Must remember to breath.

I don't know whether I like looking at him or just listening to him (more data are needed to verify this uncertainty). He could read a monograph on cardiac bypass procedures and I would pay attention. The ingredients list on the back of a box of cornflakes even. Can you imagine what it's like for the poor sod who has to take his order when Cumberbatch calls for takeout? 

I'm probably exaggerating though. I'm hopelessly biased. He should have gotten more screen time; he was so dazzling that he obliterated everyone else in every scene he's in. Cumberbatch could probably do the Vagina Monologues to a sold-out house.

*This post is brought to you with Enfant Terrible's complete, eye-rolling cognisance. 


Snuze said...

I await this Sunday for my pal to belanja me La Cumberbatch.


Angela Gripesalot said...

Hope you enjoy him, er, the film as much as I did! The caveat stands though, because this reviewer demonstrated heavy selection bias.